Friends don’t let friends watch American television. Let alone force them to.  [more...]

Why Not Full?  [more...]

There are reasons that I like this movie and hate myself. More details than you ever wanted? Why, yes, I do have those. [more...]

The Only Real Magic Would be if This Movie Made Itself Disappear. [more...]

Today’s post contains an awe-inspiring magic trick: Watch me turn a beautiful moviegoing experience into a swirling vortex of hopelessness. Plastic tarp recommended.  [more...]

Apparently, life really is just a constant test of one’s restraint. I’m still unsure about the grading system for such an exam. [more...]

In a belated Chinese New Year celebration, I learn that violence never solves anything. If by “never solves anything” you mean “always solves everything.” [more...]

A return to the past prompts the realization that I never left. And maybe I never will. Happy Faye Valentine’s Day. [more...]

Today’s top stories: I don’t like feeling good. Also, I’m bad at realizing things that are readily apparent to everyone else. [more...]

This is one of those posts that you don’t have to bother with because there’s no way in hell you’re going to watch what I’m writing about. But, I’d read it if you wrote it, because I love you. [more...]