Some movies are just silly, pointless suck-fests… No matter how you look at them.

Do you ever wonder whether I get tired of making a big deal out of everything? Does it seem like, whatever it is I think I see, becomes an excuse to go on and on about my own brand of narcissistic suffering to me? Do you ever think to yourself, “Doesn’t this idiot ever just watch a movie for the sake of killing a couple hours without turning it into an exercise in masochism?” Is there nothing that won’t catalyze such self-indulgent maniacal ravings?

Your day has come. Once again, because we are the ones who love movies so that you don’t have to, Er and I wandered off to check out Vantage Point. And it was stupid. However, it was said stupidity that fueled our laughter for almost the full ninety minutes. Gaze in perplexed wonderment as Sigourney Weaver is made to play yet another tough-as-nails all-business dame for five minutes in a feature-length film. Marvel at Forest Whitaker’s uncharacteristic overacting when a stranger speaks English to him in Spain! Gasp as Spanish police officer guy gets hit by yet another car. Or wait, was that the same car, and we’re just watching it from another angle? Oh, I get it. Vantage point. Shudder as Dennis Quaid and William Hurt almost make out. It’s all going to be alright, because Barnes loves POTUS so much and the Americans are safe. I pictured the meetings during production, in an attempt to make lemonade when life has given me a pungent yellow fluid:

“I think we could do something cool like Rashomon or Ying Xiong or that one episode of Invader Zim where that cool thing happens.”
“No. Stop trying to do something cool. Why is it always about something cool with you? Why can’t Dennis Quaid making stinky face be enough for you? No milkshake for you.”

Well, at least we had fun. If this entry sounds even more crazed and incoherent than usual, it’s because my friend Miko pointed me to an online “game” that makes strange looping sounds, and my creation has been slowly devouring my rationality for the last forty minutes. Try it out for yourself!

This entry was posted by eugene on Thursday, March 6th, 2008 at 8:04 pm and is filed under american, movies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.